I'm so stressed!!!! (;O;) I don't want to be and I know that the best way to cure stress is to relax and calm down but I can't. o(T___T)o I have so much to do!! T.T
We already received the script for Playzone and I have surprisingly many lines! And new songs to remember and dances and then I have interviews and I have to take care of Miyuki and I have to... do other things too. ^_^w

I love this job! I really do, but it's so stressing all of it. ( >___< ) there has been talk about maybe doing something else too for a while... they're talking about both drama, CM and cd. I would love to do a cd because I'm dying to sing but I don't know... they have talked about similar things before after all and none of that actually happened. >.<;
I also have to attend to one of KAT-TUN's shows in Osaka, just to show my face the boss said, and then I have to... attend to Kanjani8's too. Because I say so!
While attending to rehearsal and script reading and... costumes and all...

I'm so stressed. >_<;;;;
But.
I'll do my best! ♥

( Private. )

( Mail to Ryochan. )

I can't believe the concert is in just a few days!! T_T I'm so excited and worried and and and... T____T I know people will come to see me and I know they will cheer for me and so on but that doesn't make me any less nervous! To stand there when it actually happens is... it's... T__T it's really touching! T_T I'm so lucky.

I want to buy some new clothes... it's really random but I really want to buy new clothes. I want a new jacket and a new pair of jeans. I think I'll ask Keichan to go with me~ he has talked about shopping a lot lately, apparently he went to shop with Pichan too not too long ago? Pi can come too~*

I'm tired (T.T) Work work work rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal. (T.T) So tired already. I need to sleeeeeep more ( T - T )

Me and Ryochan talk a lot lately <3 We talk a lot during the nights lately about life and stuff. ♥ I love talking about things like that. ^.^ But when I have to get up so early it's really kind of bad.... but it doesn't make me want to talk any less though. (^-^)

it's been about two weeks since we had sex T-T I think I'm addicted to it... but but but... (T~T)

( Mail to Ryo )

I can't wait to stand ion stage again!!! >.<;;!!!! It'll be so much fun! I can't wait!!

Everyone looked really good at Best Artist today!! ^__^

( Mail to Ryochan~ )

( Private. )

( Mail to Yui-chan )

Sometimes when you think... don't you think of how things are currently? How you live your life and if things are going the way you want them to, the way they should? I think like that a lot lately and just... today I really spaced out thinking of it, right. And I realized that I'm really, reeeeeeeally happy right now. Everything is going really great and I'm on good terms with everyone and everything is just going fine. There's nothing that really bothers me. Of course there are things I'd rather do and there are some things I want to happen and so on, but in general I'm just really happy with my life right now.

And that's scary. Isn't it in these moments, when you're really happy, that you realize how vulnerable you are? If any of these things I have were to be taken away from me... I don't know how I'd cope. Before I only had my career and it was taken away from me for a while. I was so depressed, I cried so much and hadn't I had my friends and my family back then I have no idea of how I would have managed. I probably wouldn't, right? Everyone has really helped me a lot and I'm really grateful to everyone, but without Ryochan I would never be where I am today... Back when it first happened, he was with me so much when he didn't have work. He cried with me so many times and it was really... it really helped me. He made me realize I wasn't alone and because of that I managed to get up on my feet again... It's because of him I managed to get this happy... and I really don't want to lose it.

Nothing really points to that I will... there's nothing that really bothers me or anything, nothing that's about to take things away from me. But I realized today how happy I am and it... I really don't want to lose it. I don't want to lose any of it... But for someone to stay happy like this forever, is that possible? Somehow it doesn't sound as if it could happen for real...

I really love life right now and all.. ♥

( Private. )

( Mail to Ryo )

( Midnight mail to Ryo~ )

11 DAYS.

Yesterday was my birthday!! I spent it with some of my friends and it was really awesome!! Then I went to Osaka and visited mom and dad and Aoi and Miyukiiii (*o*) Miyuki was doing so great!! I took a lot of photos of her! |)^o^(|

Then I went back home to Tokyo and was at home at around 22:30 and... and... *___* When I got home the whole apartment was lit down!! I thought Ryochan had gone to bed but he hadn't because when I got into the kitchen he had put candles on the table and made dinner and everything was so!!!! Like in all those american movies when there's a romantic dinner? It was JUST LIKE THAT!! *__* I'm not even exaggerating! It was just like that and it was such delicious food! Pasta! (*w*) Ryochan knows I love pasta and he had bought two roses too! (*O*) It was sooooo totally, totally awesome! He got me a cap and a necklace. (*0*) I thought the dinner was enough but apparently it wasn't!!

Ryochan is soooo awesome. (*o*) Everything was so so soooo romantic and he did it so perfectly and everything was just so... so.. Best birthday ever!! Even though he had work yesterday AND this morning he still did that and we were... up pretty late kfdslfjsdf ( ^^ ) And... and... mfmmklfjdsklfjksdjfkjsdjff.

Ryochan is the best ever~♥ ♥ ♥

( Mail to Ryochan )

( Mail to Ryochan. )

( Should be private but since Miyuki woke up the wrong option was chosen and thus only Ryo can read. Oops? )

( Letter from Ryo, found after Ryo went to work. )

( Mail to Ryo. )

( Mail to Ryo )

( Mail to Ryo )

( Mail to Ryo. )

( Mail to Ryo. )

( Mail to Ryo )


I'll never play truth or dare ever ever ever again. +_____+

( Private to Ryo )

Shooting the drama today too! (^_^)/ Everyone's really busy lately, right? No one is really left with nothing to do. I think that's a good thing! That way we won't be bored. Working makes one happy I think, no matter how difficult and tiring it might be, right~? ♥

Kyou mo ganbarou~